Saturday, 17 March 2012

Hello Mid March. How I have longed for you.

Peterbourgh – The dressing rooms are portacabins round the back.  The Glamour.

Chelmsford – The Bass shuffles off stage, his bright red wig sitting slightly askew and his lipstick (which also doubles as blusher) slightly smudged, with a life size, french-can-can-dancer-puppet strapped to his front.  He pauses by me in the wing.  "What kind of job is this"  He says.  "I'm an intelligent human being."  And shuffles off into the darkness.

Bury St Edmunds – The building is owned by Green King IPA, and the bar out the front is called the Greene Room.  A HO!

Margate - Backstage has a list of rules from the 20’s painted on the wall.  For example – “Performers will not perform scenes or musical numbers not previously agreed by the director in rehearsals.”

Tuesday, 6 March 2012


I learn how to open those stick sugar packets properly

Shanklin - The Tech manager and Stage Manager are husband and wife, and it seems the only other technician in town is their daughter.

Wednesday, 29 February 2012


One of the actresses screamed in delight, and I thought the fire alarm was going off...

In other news

Crewe - Have inherited my head torch

Huddersfield – Due to the upcoming visit to Cyprus it was necessary to pack up all the props and costume we were taking, and then un-pack them instantly.  A trial run to see if the bags we bought were big enough .  It’s a soul destroying sort of a task.  Especially when your boyfriend has taken the time to come and visit.

Buxton - Not a blue cat in sight

Hertford - Tiny stage + huge piano = hilariously compact dance moves

Nicosia - We locate a whiskey decanter at the last minute, from an ex AA member, through an oboe player

Limasol - The focus tower is a few bits of scaff and a plank of wood on wheels. it'd give the Royal Conservatoire of Scotland a hernia.

Yeovil & Bishop Stortford - We seem to be in hot pursuit of a tour of 'Lord of the flies'.  There is a lot of sand in their show it seems. Out dance floor tape won't stick to it.

Crawely - The tumble drier set fire last week... It makes wardrobe maintenance an exciting new challenge

Winchester - Apparently stand up  go there to try out their material before big tours because the audience are notoriously heckler free...

Saturday, 11 February 2012


The Bass thinks it will be hilarious to talk to me in the style of the old spice man while wearing nought but pants when I go to the dressing rooms to check the personal props.

Friday, 10 February 2012

Day off...

Sitting in a Premier Inn watching Sherlock, failing to fix a life size can can dancer puppet, at midnight.

Newark - Nearly stand on the bass's face as I don't realise he is sleeping under a counter in dressing room 4 as I set out costumes.

Wellingborough - Discuss the finer points of war, religion, politics, the economy and Oscar Wilde with a cobbler as he fixes a zip on the tenors boot.

Tweeksbury [sic] - The techies are called Smiffy, Cookie... and Mark

Sunday, 5 February 2012


The Baritone reveals that he sang at Nora Batty's funeral.

Friday, 3 February 2012


Opening Night - Leading lady's net shawl gets attached to leading man's brass button. Thus incredibly romantic waltz ends with him being dragged upstage by her, chest first.

Sunday, 15 January 2012

To look back on in the future - Because I shall loose a paper list

Sher-oh-good-lord-isn't-cumberbatch-a sexy bastard-lock finished its most recent run today on the tellybox. The iphone generation tell me that while the next series has been commissioned though it will not start filming till other work commitments are out of the way. In order to fill the immense emptiness that we now face in our lives we have made a pact* to achieve a life goal each before the next instalment.

I post the aims here so that they are stored but a few clicks away and labelled by date. Don't feel obliged to read them.

Achieve a publishing deal of some description

Have Dandy Highwaymen in existence

Get an article in Dr Who Magazine

Buy a windsurfer

Oh and also, to sum up the last trip (since that is the real and true purpose of this endeavour) East coast as better than the West coast - apart from for snow sports and the Victoria Fringe. Quebec is the best province, particularly Montreal. New Brunswick has absolutely brilliant road signs regarding Moose. Bam.

*Had a notional chat